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fish and chips is awesome. i still remeber the wrapped dish at the beaches of scarborough, four years ago. the first time you eat it, its the best thing. i'm not a fish lover, but alongside those amazing chips, they get very delicious. i still have the menu of the fish and chips place. i still want to eat it every saturday. i still think that salt and vinegar are the best condiments. ive been doing research lately to find the best fish to make it at home. and i want to deep fry it.

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the japanese spider crab is a weird big thing. if you are more familiarized to small crabs, you will find this species insane. its leg span can reach 3,8 metres, and its claws can hurt you serioulsy. it feeds on shellfish and can live up to a hundred years. we should eat more shellfish if we want to live more, i guess. as the name says it lives in japan, mostly in the southern coast. watch out if you swim there.

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it´s been a week. a week since i let her go. i miss her every day. i think people think that i've already forgotten her. not that i really care about what they think. i wanna go see her all the time. i keep it to myself cause people suck. i dont go there cause i dont wanna make her feel homesick. i havent had strange feelings about it so far, so i guess shes ok. if shes not, or if they dont give her a good time, i dont know what im able to do. but i prefer to think that shes happy. thats my last image of her and thats the image i wanna remember forever.

oh yeah, its new year's eve already. fuck it. its a normal day. at least we dont get to buy people presents. its not that comercial.

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i wanna have a house. yes. the thing i want the most now is a house. it doesnt need to be fancy, or new, or beautiful. it needs to be close to my mother´s, and it needs a backyard, or frontyard. that's my only wish nowadays. i woud sell 10% of my soul for that, cause living with her for fifteen years at least would be better than not having her for a hundred springs. i love you very much. have thenicest life and take this heavy burden off my back.

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i'm not a good person. i am throwing away the purest love i've ever had. it´s not an easy love, but it's strong as hell. sometimes it bothers you and you wanna get away from it, but if you only look at it again every thing goes away. i really hope it is for the best, and i really hope she gets on fine with the rich rednecks. otherwise i will not forgive myself. i'm going after ease, i know. definitely i could be better than i am.

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14/12/2011

It seems easy to create good stuff at home. It just seems apparently. I've read in the paper that most of the new music acts bring their ideas to life in 'home studios', but there's a new definition for this expression. these studios nowadays have often only a macbook. hell yeah, only a laptop. God knows how this musicians (can they say they are musicians? Or they only glue pieces of music together?) create music. In my opinion its more like an evolution of a dj´s job. And i'm note saying this in a bad way. I think its great, i wish i could do that. But again money is a problem. Do you really think these fuckers only have a laptop? And do you really think their music go to people's ears magically? We are really designed to bleive that we can make it. But we can´t.